Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
