Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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