im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
