i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
