ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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