Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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