when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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