I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was like eating out sand paper
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
