So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
