You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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