I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
