How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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