Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
