Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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