Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
