Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
