I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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