I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
love makes seman taste better
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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