So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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