no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
