well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
