I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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