oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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