Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
