me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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