Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
