U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
