Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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