Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
