the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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