Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Randomize
