well most of my day revolves around power hour
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
