super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
