Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
