im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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