So drunk its hurt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize