This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize