Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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