I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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