You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize