Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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