why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
