Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
