we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
