so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Holy sore nipples Batman
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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