You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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