I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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