She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
