I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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