i would punch a child for taco bell
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FUCK WHALES
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
