so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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