so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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