Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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