my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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