Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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