we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize