I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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