I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I AM VODKA MAN
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
