just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
