before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
