One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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