Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
