I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
