listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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