Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You can't motorboat a personality
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
